


Strange World

by Wanderer22



Category: The Host - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-11-28 13:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18209195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wanderer22/pseuds/Wanderer22
Summary: What happens after Wanderer is removed from Melanie's body before she is inserted into Pet's. Mel made Wanda a final promise that she intends to keep. Even if he won't let her.





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I do not own The Host or any of the characters in this story. Just a rabid fan who rereads the story over and over wishing there was more to love.

 

 

Alone.

 

That was my first thought waking up in the empty hospital that I'd known for so many months yet hadn't ever actually experienced for myself. 

I was alone. No one else was in the room unless you counted an unconscious Jodi and Kyle on the far end of the room separated by a privacy screen. And I for one didn't.

But I wasn't just alone in the room. I was alone in... my head.

Wanda.

The thought hurt. Made my chest ache. Knocked the wind out of me and made me feel like I couldn't breathe.

Jamie. Jared....Ian.

It surprised me that the last thought also hurt. I'd made Wanda a promise. I would take care of them all. Even him. Even if he didn't want me to.

I knew from my memories he was alone too. Sleeping peacefully not even aware that she was...gone. At least I still had a little bit of time. I couldn't hear her and most likely in her little tank she couldnt hear me either but... that didn't mean we couldn't all say our goodbyes. I turned a little on my side and had a moment deja vu seeing just two tanks on Doc's desk. 

Hadn't Wanda come in here a few hours- was it really only hours?- and seen two tanks expecting three. And now here I was again seeing the same sight. Expecting three but only seeing two.

It all started making sense now... Doc being gone. Waking up alone. She'd never let me hear that part of her plan. Always blocked the ending just a little so even I wouldn't realize until it was too late. 

I knew she'd made Doc promise to bury her next to Walter and Wes but I didn't realize it was going to be immediate. But why wouldn't it be. She'd made him swear to bury her right away before anyone could figure it out and stop him.

I leapt to my feet with only one goal in mind.

I need to stop her. I'm not losing her... we are not losing her. 

Ian. 

I realized at once that if this plan was going to work I would need him on my side. Jeb had said...

I raced through the caves knowing my destination like the back of my hand even if this was the first time I was in control of the body taking me there. I threw the red door out of the way not caring about the noise it made. I needed to wake him up. I needed to explain but when I stepped into the room I realized I didnt need to explain anything. The figure I'd expected to find sprawled out on the mattress was sitting up with his chin tucked behind his knees, eyes expressionless. 

“Melanie.” He said without looking up. “ She did it.”

I nodded.

“She's gone.” 

“No Ian-” he flinched at the sound of my voice. It was so similar to how Jared was in the beginning. Anytime she'd spoken to him, said his name, his whole body recoiled, “I'm sorry but no. We're not going to do this. She doesn't understand because she isnt truly human. She's everything good that we need in our lives. She's not selfish but we are... and we are not letting her go.” he picked his head up then suddenly interested in the words coming from my lips, I threw him a wry smile as I held out my hand to him, “ Let her argue about it with us after we get her back.” 

 

It was easier for Ian to lead the way to Wes and Walter's graves. I had only been there once and we'd be knocked out from morphine. He kept a tight hold on my hand as we stumbled through the caves but the moment we exited he released me and started running- racing almost. He slowed down as we got closer and heard voices carrying in the wind.

“-promised her Jared.” one of the voices rang out.

Jared. Where are you?

“-don't care Doc. She is not going in that little hole in the ground. She is a part of this community whether she likes it or not and I don't lose people here.” 

As Ian and I got closer we were able to just make out the scene before us. Jared holding Doc close, something pressed against his throat. A small silver container placed at their feet. Ian realized what it was before I did and rushed forward craddling it in his arms, whishpering over and over her name.

Wanda

“Mel.” Jared choked out. I wanted nothing more than to run to him. Throw my arms around him and never let go- but I stopped myself took a deep breath and stared Doc in the eyes.

“I know you don't want to do this.” I could see through the small light coming from the lantern he'd brought for this job that Doc had tears in his eyes, and not from fear of Jared. The four of us here knew Jared wasn't actually going to do anything. It was just a threat. We all knew it, “ I know she made you promise but she forgot something. The rule Jeb made.” 

Both Jared and Doc looked at me confused. I could even feel Ian's eyes on me from where he was half crouched on the ground still holding Wanda's tank in his arms. Knowing I had their full attention I continued, “Whoever the body belongs to is the one who can make the call. Now I know it isn't a body like we're used to but that in there is a body. A soul's body. So the only one here who can make the call on what to do is...” The three of us turned to Ian. Jared dropped the knife from Doc's throat and he took a step forward to place a hand on Ian's shoulder.

“Let's go inside.” Jared said softly taking my hand.

I wanted nothing more. I could already feel the steady fire blazing where Jared touched me but I had made a promise. Take care of Ian. Even if he wont let you.

“Come on.” I said softly to him, though he wouldn't look up at me, “We'll fix this. She is not leaving you.” I repeated the words back to him that he'd said earlier and finally he looked up, “ She is not leaving us.” He nodded and slowly stood keeping the tank tucked firmly in his arms. I placed a hand on his shoulder as Doc had done earlier and he didn't shrug it off. My other hand gripped Jared tightly. 

I will do what you asked Wanderer. I will take care of him until you are back here to do it yourself. 

 

That's it for Chapter one. I have a whole story mapped out in my head but I can't decide if I should continue or just leave it as a one shot. Leave a note if you would like me to continue I guess.

Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Note- Still own nothing.

 

It was so hard to wake up now. There was no voice in my head happy to see the sunlight peeking through the roof. There was no voice in my head reminding me of all the work that needed to be done that day- unless Uncle Jeb shouting through the hallways that we were wasting daylight hours counted- which I didn't think it did.

But with or without Wanda in my head life went on. 

Jared was still my rock. The other half of me. Being with him again after all of this time just watching him was indescribable. I'd kicked Jamie out of our room the night after I'd come back officially. I couldn't do it the first night. I'd just wanted to hold him and cry with him over the loss of our best friend, over the loss of our time together, and just over the loss of our life. 

He'd moved in reluctantly with Ian. Ian who'd barely spoken since the night we saved Wanda, from herself mostly. Not that she was going to appreciate it. I was expecting a big fight from that one but honestly the way I see it she kind of owed me one. She did after all use my body for the better part of the past year- but then again I suppose selflessly giving it back kind of cancelled that out didn't it?

Whatever. I insisted to myself, We've all lost enough, Wanderer included.

My face must have been pulled into a frown because Jared was suddenely looking up at me concerned. I tried to smile but he saw through it, “what are you thinking about?” he asked pushing my hair out of my face.

“Honestly?” he nodded as he placed him lips to my cheek. Wild fire. Damn it Wanda! I grimaced over her descriptions of Jared's affects on my body, “ I'm thinking about Wanda. Wondering when we'll see her again... wondering how she'll take seeing us again... and also...” I trailed off uncertainly but Jared took my hand in his and urged me to continue, “Don't take this the wrong way please... but I'm thinking about Ian. I'm worried about him. I told Wanda...that I'd try...to help.” I could barely look at Jared, this whole situation was much more confusing then when I had just been back in a small corner of my own head begging for Wanda to be gone so my boyfriend, brother, and I could go off and live in peace.

Jared looked at me for a few moments not saying anything before finally taking my hands in his, “We will find Wanda a new body. Soon. She will come back and probably be pissed at us,” he chuckled before continuing, “But we'll probably never know it because Wanda is not the type to complain but once she gets over it she and O'Shea will get right back to playing the Alien Princess and her human savior only this time without any resistance because when we get Wanda a body we will make sure it does not belong to anyone else.” Jared always had a way with taking charge. 

Being in the back of Wanda's- well my- head for all this time has made me a little soft I'm starting to realize. I needed to get back to being me and what better way to start then with fulfilling my promise?

I kissed Jared quickly on the lips before jumping up and heading for the door. 

“Mel?” he called out and as I turned around he caught me on the wrist and pulled me against him, pressing his lips more firmly against mine. When we broke apart- me gasping for air and him grinning and wearing a smug expression on his face he finally breathed, “I love you.” and released my wrist.

It took about 20 seconds before my heart stopped pounding wildly and I was able to continue on my destination leaving Jared to laugh alone at my retreating form.

By the time I reached Ian's room I had mostly regained my composure. I didnt bother knocking as I pulled the red door aside and walked right in. The scene in front of me was more or less what I'd been expecting. Jaime was standing by the edge of Ian's bed chattering away directed at Wanda's small silver tank that was being cradled in Ian's left arm, while Ian sat up in bed leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, in restrained frustration I'm sure. When I walked in Ian's eyes opened and I swear he almost looked relieved to see me. I worried for a moment he'd forgotten who I was- maybe he'd thought I was Wanda, but then his eyes flashed back to Jaime and I knew instantly he was not confused.

“- so don't you think it's weird Wanda? I mean I'm not a soul or anything like you but I dreamed 100% that I was a Bear. And I mean it was so real. God, wouldn't it be so cool Ian? To be a bear?” Jaime barely waited for Ian's polite nod before he continued, “ OH! And you wont believe what else happened, Wanda-”

“Jaime?” I cut in sharply, “Isn't it time for school? Wouldn't want Sharon to freak out on you for being late. I hear she's throwing a party,” I added sarcastically, “both her and aunt Maggie are all set to celebrate my big return at the expense of others.” 

Jaime came up to me then and wrapped his arms around me in a hug that only a little brother can give. The kind that makes you feel like you can fix anything in the world as long as he believes in you, “I am glad you're back, Mel.” he said sincerely, “even if I miss Wanda too.”

“It's okay, buddy. I miss her so much no matter how happy I am to be back her with you.” I glanced up at Ian again, he hadn't moved from his spot on the bed, his eyes were still closed and I'd worried for a minute that maybe Jaime had been going on all night and neither boy had gotten any sleep but a quick check of Jaime's eyes and the lack of bags under then assured me that at least one person in this room had slept overnight. Jaime and I said our goodbyes and I pulled the red door back into place when he left and turned to face Ian.

His eyes were open now as he watched me walk over to Kyle's- now Jaime's mattress on the left side of the room and sat down. We stared wordlessly at each other for a few minutes before he finally spoke, “Quite the chatterbox you got there.”

I grinned, “I happen to know that you have absolutely no problem dealing with that talkative monster on any given day of the week.” Ian didn't deny it and we fell back into silence for a few more minutes before he finally spoke again.

“What are you doing her Melanie?”

“I'm here for you Liz Parker.” I added sarcastically, enjoying the confusion on Ian's face for a moment.

“Really? Roswell?” the expression on his face was almost a smile... almost.

I shrugged, “If the shoe fits, alien lover.” 

“Shouldn't that make you a Liz Parker too then? Because I think you might be the only other person here that loves Wan-” Ian paused and I could hear him swallow loudly as he looked down at the tank in his arms, he pulled it closer to his chest before he continued but this time he spoke barely above a whisper, “loves her as much as I do.”

I pretended to think about it, “No, I'm way too bad ass to be a Liz Parker. I jumped down a freaking elevator shaft to escape aliens. If anything I'm like, Nick Fury befreinding Captain Marvel.”

Ian actually laughed at that- a real laugh, “Yeah if Nick Fury attempted to kill himself instead of being a host body to Carol Danvers. I've read the comics, Melanie and I can say with certainty that that's not how it happens.”

“Whatever nerd.” I poked my tongue out, “The point is I am not going to let you sit here and wallow, O'Shea. I know this sucks- believe me. Every single moment that passes by without her right here,” I brush the back of my neck with my finger tips closing my eyes for a second to pretend to feel- something, anything there. 

“Melanie, the love of my life decided to be the most selfless person on this or any other planet and sacrifice herself so that her best friend could continue to live on. I woke up alone in my bed expecting to find her still wrapped in my arms and instead I realized instantly that she had left so I couldn't stop her.” He paused again and I could tell he was trying to hold back a sob in his throat, “ I. Couldn't. Stop. Her.” The tears started falling and I was over to his side of the room in an instant attempting but failing to keep my own tears at bay.

We both cried clinging to each other and clinging to Wanda in her little tank. No one came to bother us with work that day. Jeb seemed to be doing us both a kindness. I stayed with Ian until nightfall and left his side without saying a word.

“Melanie?” he asked softly. I turned around to see that he had moved from sitting up to the laying down position, spooning the cryotank, “I'll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, Parker.” as I walked down the hall back towards the room I shared with Jared I could almost hear Ian chuckling.

 

Okay so I am waaaaay out of practice writing fics. About ten years ago I used to have a pretty active account on ff.net but now I'm a mom of 3 (ages 6 and younger) with a husband who works nights so I can not promise to have these chapters out in any kind of regular schedule but after rereading The Host last week I just kind of wished we'd heard more on that month that passed between Wanda leaving Mel and being inserted into Pet.

So anyway hope this is enjoyable. It's kinda just been kicking around in my head when I lay down at night. I'm gonna try to continue it and at least get to Wanda waking up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mel continues to look after Ian despite her confusing feelings.

6 days. 

That was the first thought I had waking up. It had been 6 days since I came to in Doc's small makeshift hospital room by myself. 

I hadn't been counting the days. I hadn't want to put a number on how long it's been since Wanda left my head, hadn't wanted to think of how long it would be until we saw her again. But Jared had left on the fourth day on what he said was a necessary raid. I knew what that meant of course. What he wasn't saying. He was going to get Wanda a body. 

I hadn't expected to see Ian approach Jared the morning he left with a request. I couldn't hear them clearly as Ian had lowered his voice in hopes that no one would hear him I'm sure.

“I'll see what I can do.” Jared agreed. Ian nodded his head in thanks while he carefully switched which hands he held Wanda's small tank in. Was he asking for something- someone specific? That thought had me feeling fiery. Was he asking for a blonde? Brunette? Red head? I scoffed. Men.

When Jared walked over to say goodbye he took in my angry expression wearily, “I won't be gone long.” he promised. 

“Whatever type he just asked you for, Jared Howe, you better tell me right now!” Jared eyed me confused and I glared in the direction Ian was retreating. Finally he connected the dots and had the audacity to let out a bark of a laugh.

“Mel,” he chastised me, “He wasn't asking me for Wanda. He didn't even mention anything about that. He was asking me to get something for Kyle. Mel,” Jared paused looking around, “Jodi isn't waking up. I don't know how much longer she has. Doc went to see Ian last night. Tried to get him to help out with Kyle but well-”

“One heart broken brother to another isn't gonna be that much help.” My voice dropped. Stupid, stupid Melanie. Of course Ian didn't ask Jared to bring him back a super model to stick Wanda in. Stop thinking the worst of everyone. Stop thinking like this. Be more like Wanda, I tried to convince myself, Remember humans can be good. Especially Ian. 

I was still beating myself up after Jared and the other raiders had left so I started wandering the caves looking for Ian. I couldn't exactly apologize for accusing him of being a pig headed male in my head. Why had it made me so angry? No, not exactly angry, I realized as I found him sitting in the empty storage room. It was jealousy... Those left over lingering Wanda feelings were still there. I groaned inwardly wishing it would just fade already.

Ian barely looked at me, not surprised at all that I was there. He had grown accustomed to my presence lately. He just raised his free arm, the one not holding Wanda, and using a rock made a long tally mark against the wall. I counted four lines against the wall. Four lines. Four days. Four days since Wanda left. 

I carefully settled myself down against the opposite side of the small storage room, “So what brings you to our cell?” He looked up at me and shrugged, “Taking a vow of silence?”

He smirked at me and shook his head, “Nothing like that. I was just trying to...” he paused choosing his words carefully. I watched as he pulled Wanda close to his chest and placed a soft kiss to the smooth top of the tank, it didn't help the confusion I'd been having to know exactly how a kiss on the cheek from Ian felt, “trying to feel her again.” he finally finished.

Two days had passed since that afternoon and Ian had began throwing himself into the work in the caves. He would wake and immediately head to plowing the fields. He brought Wanda's tank and a small blanket along. I watched today as he carefully laid out the blanket smoothing the edges so there weren't any creases about a foot away from where he was working. He gingerly placed the tank against the blanket and turned to start working. 

I'd watched from afar for most of the day. Breakfast passed and Ian worked through it. Lunch passed and Ian worked through it. Dinner passed by and Ian still worked through it. Most of the others had quit when the sun went down but not Ian. I had begun to worry he would keep working through the night and I'd need to intervene but finally I watch as he put the tools down and all but collapsed onto the blanket next to Wanda. 

I decided this was my opportunity and headed over, “ Hey Parker.”

Without opening his eyes, Ian muttered, “Fury.” He lifted himself halfway on his elbows and added, “I know you've been watching me. I'm not a little kid you know. I'm not in Sharon's math class. I can take care of myself.”

“Yes I'm aware,” I began sarcastically, “ You can take care of yourself. Water breaks, meals, resting before you reach the point of dropping dead from exhaustion.”

“I'm not going to drop dead Melanie.” It didn't help his point that he attempted to lower himself back down to lay on the blanket but collapsed instead.

“Ian?!” I jumped to his side, shaking both of his arms. He opened his eyes and I sighed in relief letting my own eyes fall closed. A moment passed as I listened to the even sounds of his breathing and suddenly I felt Ian's hand against my cheek. My breath caught in my throat.

“When your eyes are closed, I sometimes forget,” he began, “even when she's sitting right here next to me, Ill see you out of the corner of my eye or you'll turn away and for a second- just one single second I'll think...Wanda... and I'll feel like shes here again. Really here.” I finally opened my eyes as he took his hand away from my face but not before carefully stroking my cheek, “But it's really not fair to you. Is it?” I sat back a little embarrassed by my reactions, “It was always your body Melanie. Wanderer was borrowing it when I fell in love with her but I shouldn't forget that it is your body. I can't keep looking for her in you.” He looked right into my eyes for a minute before he spoke again, “She's not you and you are not her.”

We stayed quiet again. Wanda between us both literally and figuratively before I spoke again, “I remember it.” He turned in my direction to let me know he was paying attention but his eyes remained closed again, “I remember how it felt to love you. How she felt when she loved you... How I felt when she loved you.” His eyes flickered slowly, “I don't love you.” he nodded, “And you don't love me.” Again a nod, so I continued slowly searching for the right words, “But we both love her. We both love everything about her. Even her love for the two of us.” He seemed to accept that and closed his eyes again, “It might be weird for a while but I'm not gonna leave you alone Ian. I promised her.”

This got his attention again and he fully sat up, he looked between the small silver tank and me and then back again. I could see his eyes flash darkly as he said, “Explain please.”

I shook my head feeling annoyed now at Wanda for putting us in the situation but honestly how could I be annoyed at her for this when the only reason we were here was because she gave me myself back. I sighed, “Ian, you know her. Are you really that surprised?” 

“No, I guess not.” he admitted, “She always did think of everyone- anyone- else but herself. Of course she'd tell you to make sure I wasn't alone.” He chuckled darkly and added, “I'm sure she probably paired me off with someone in these caves, the way we used to do in movies when one spouse was dying of some incurable disease and she'd pick out a replacement for her husband so he wouldn't end up alone when she was gone.” He looked up and something in my face must have given him the confirmation he was looking for in his theory. I wouldn't dare tell him about the time Wanda fleetingly wondered if Ian would be able to continue on in a life with Lily. Once they'd both grieved their respected losses. My thoughts we interrupted by his voice sounding so painfully angry and so unbearably sad, “That's so stupid!” But it wasn't directed at me. He was looking right at the tank now, “You are so stupid if you think I would just move on and forget about you. As if I could just wake up to you gone and not care and carry on with someone here. How could you want that for me?” he demanded almost shouting at Wanda's tank.

“You wanted it for her.” I said softly, remembering how Ian begged Wanda to stay and even offered to leave her alone and let her be with Jared if it just meant she could stay.

“Tell me something,” he said suddenley, “You said... you said you remembered what it felt like to love me.” I could feel my face flush a little so I nodded rather than speak, “But... I just... Wanda used to do anything- say anything to make others happy. She would make herself unhappy just for the sake of another... Melanie, did she really love me? Like the way I love her. Not just to make me happy but did I? Did I make her happy?” 

Oh Wanda, I almost sobbed into my head, Wanda why did you leave us like this? I can't do this. I can't take care of him the way you could. Wanda.

“Ian,” I tried to start but I could feel the tears starting behind my eyes, “ Ian, she-”

“You guys!!!!” Jaime shouted. Both Ian and I jumped as Jaime rushed towards us. “They're back! Jared and the others are back! And guess what they brought people with them! To extract the souls and give them their bodies back and one of them will be Wanda's new body I just know it! Come on!” Jaime was tugging on both of our arms. He hadn't even noticed my tears that I hastily wiped away or Ian's pained expression. I wish I could be a kid again.

We both followed Jaime out of the fields without any resistance. Ian knew Doc needed his help and once I heard Jared was back it was as if a magnet was pulling me towards his direction. I couldn't stop moving in the direction I knew he was. If Wanda was still in my head she'd probably start talking about the fire that I could feel brewing in my chest the moment I laid my eyes on his. The moment his arms wrapped around me and that fire burst from my chest spreading all over my body. If we hadn't been standing in a room with my uncle, brother, and -I guess my body's ex? What is Ian? My best friend's boyfriend- I settled on- I probably would have jumped him right then and there. Thankfully Uncle Jeb cleared his throat startling Jared and I apart. 

“Well, seems like we've got quiet the day ahead of us.” Jeb stated staring down at the three bodies Jared, Aaron, and Brandt had already laid out on the cots.

“Very,” Doc agreed, “Ian, I'll need your help.” Ian nodded, and for someone who could possibly be getting the love of his life back through one of these unconscious girls... oh my god how times haved changed that that thought isn't at all weird to me... Ian didn't really seem too excited one way or the other, “And Melanie. I hate to ask but would you mind staying? You are the only one who was privy to every memory Wanda had of this.”

“Of course.” I answered but out of the corner of my eye I could see Jaime shaking his head, “What's wrong bud?”

“These aren't her.” He was looking at the bodies, “Jared! I told you what Wanda looked like.” He sounded almost angry now, “None of these girls look right. They don't look like her.”

Jared looked up at me with a small grin. I guess I did have to worry about a male being pig headed after all. 

“Good luck, kid.” Jared said softly as I turned to Jaime the lecture about to start rolling off my tongue.

“No, it's not like that.” He insisted, “I just... I just know who she is. Ian, you know too. You're like me. We really saw her.” Jaime turned and faced Ian who had been completely avoiding this conversation.

He took a minute before answering Jaime, “Kid, I can promise you no matter what body we put Wanda into it will look like her. It's not about the body.. it's about what she does with it” He almost looked up at me at that moment but caught himself. It didn't matter though, I knew from the look on his face that we were both reliving the same moment together. The day that Ian finally revealed his feelings to Wanda. I cringed remembering how mean I was to her. How much I hurt her. And how much I hurt him.

“Come on Bud,” Jared said, pulling Jaime towards the door. “They've got work to do.” And with that Doc, Ian, and I were alone to start the slow process of bringing people back from the dead.

Maybe Ian was right, I scowled, maybe I did watch too much scifi when I was a teenager.

 

Chapter 3 done. I hope you liked how I'm trying to address Ian and Melanie's lingering confusing feelings. I know when Wanda asks at the end of the month he tells her he's not confused because Melanie isn't her but I still think that having that time before Wanda came back helped with that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well,” Ian began, “Kyle is not the only one with something to mourn right now.” And then he carefully grabbed my hand and placed it palm open against the cool of Wanda's tank.

Yeah, yeah it's fan-freakin-tastic. I thought bitterly to myself. 

Ian hadn't even stuck around. As soon as the souls were safely in the tanks Ian took Wanda and left. I think he was protecting himself. Within the hour the first girl woke up completely aware of everything that had happened and I lost my hope that this was going to work out. So I pretended to agree with Doc and his pain in the ass wife-also known as my pain in the ass cousin Sharon- how great the news was and as I headed out of the hospital room with promises to share the good news I heard Sharon call out, “another ones waking up, Mel!” 

So yeah, things are going fantastically. I know I should be happy the humans are waking and I am. It's just hard to be happy for strangers when your best friend is suffering. Well, Wanda isn't suffering. Ian is. I am.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finding Jared and Ian together wasn't an unusual sight to my eyes. I had seen them together at least a million times over the past few months since Wanda and I had arrived at the caves. I just wasn't used to the look of sadness that crossed Ian's face the moment that he saw me. Sure he tried to cover it up with a friendly smile but I'd see his eyes drop down to the tank in his arms and watch as his grip tightened and I knew without a doubt all he was thinking was he wished she was still here. 

And of course I did too.

Jared was happy to see me. He was thankfully a little sensitive to Ian's situation- probably because of how careful Ian had been with Wanda when things were reversed- and rather than pulling me fully and completely into his arms the way I knew he wanted to, he just draped a careful arm around my shoulder and greeted me with a soft, “Hey.”

“What are you two up to?” I asked, unwilling to share the news of the two girls waking up just yet.

“Jared picked something up for me during his raid,” Ian responded, “We were just discussing the best way to... use it.” he finished awkwardly.

I quirked an eyebrow in Jared's direction, “Jodi isn't waking up.” he said softly, “Ian suggested we give Kyle a night to mourn that.” Jared nodded to the canvas bag at Ian's feet. I peeked down and saw through the opening of the bag there was a few bottles of liquor. 

“What are you two thinking?” I asked genuinely curious.

“We were discussing who to have Jaime crash with tonight so we could all spend a little time mourning with him.” Jared shrugged.

“I don't think Kyle wants me to join in on this 'guys night' that you have planned.” I admitted thinking Kyle probably didn't care about me much one way or the other. He almost killed me trying to get rid of Wanda. Not that he really knew that.

“Well,” Ian began, “Kyle is not the only one with something to mourn right now.” And then he carefully grabbed my hand and placed it palm open against the cool of Wanda's tank.

“She's not gone, Ian.” I insisted though my eyes slid closed feeling comfort in the cool metal against my hand, “We're going to get her back.”

“Yeah, those girls awake yet?” he countered.

“They were too old.” I admitted, letting my eyes open again. I gave Jared a small shrug, “Wanda told Kyle last week that she thinks it has to do with how long you were a human verses how long you've had a soul in you. I had just turned 21 when they inserted Wanda. All of those women were my age or older.”

“So what?” Jared asked, “I need to get this guy a baby?” he sounded incredulous.

“You don't need to get me anything, Howe.” Ian said sharply.

“Okay. Okay.” I said placing a hand against each of their chests. I could feel my right hand being engulfed in the fire that raged whenever Jared and I touched while my left hand was counting Ian's steady heart beat. Damnit Wanda! This is ridiculous! “Boys, please. Jared you don't need to look for a kid. We just need to look for someone who was about my age when we met. Ian is only a couple of years older then me- he's a little younger than you were when we met. Do you have any doubt that he is as honorable as you were?” Jared glanced up at Ian's face with a glare, which Ian returned, “Can we please get back to this Kyle thing and stop this?”

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I don't know what I expected. I have never in our entire relationship seen Jared drunk but apparently all it takes is a few shots of hard liquor and my man starts showing off his moves. To Kyle's beat boxing. Another new talent that was quite unexpected.

Ian sank onto the mattress next to me, drink in his right hand, Wanda cradled in his left. 

“Do you ever let her go?” I asked curiously as I sipped the mixed drink Jared had made me at the beginning of the night. I had never tasted alcohol before this. My parents weren't really into drinking and it's not as if I was free to party with friends in my teenage years. I was too busy keeping myself and Jaime safe. I didn't really like the taste but I did enjoy the slight numbing feeling that was spreading through my body with each sip.

“Not if I can help it.” he admitted, taking a large gulp from his own cup. I wondered for a minute if he was also having a mixed drink but then I remembered watch Kyle pour himself and Ian's drinks straight for the bottle.

“She doesn't know though,” I countered, “I remember everything she knew- well probably not everything. She knew a LOT. Like more than you could have learned if you were able to finish high school. Was it weird having a girl friend that was sooo much smarter than you?” I can't remember where I started this conversation but suddenly this seemed like something I really needed to know.

“Wanda wasn't my girlfriend.” he said a little too loudly as now both Jared and Kyle looked up very interested in what we were talking about.

“Seriously little bro?” Kyle laughed as they came to join us on the mattress, “She was definitely your first little girlfriend. I do not count Beth by the way.”

“Beth?” I demanded in an even louder voice then before.

“It was kind of like sharing a girlfriend.” Jared admitted, “A girlfriend that I didn't want- but did want!” he added hastily, but then almost to himself added again, “but didn't want.”

“Why wouldn't you want Wanda anyway?” I placed both my hands on my hips, a feat which was slightly complicated being that my drink was still in my right hand, “With this body and her mind? I mean hello! We were a freaking catch. Ian knows!”

“Thanks.” he said sarcastically tipping his cup in my direction before downing its contents. But he didn't have to worry for too long Kyle was already refilling it from the bottle as well as his own.

“You know what I mean.” I insisted. “And don't think I won't circle back to Beth. Wanda is my sister. I will find out all the details of that to share with her.”

“And thank you for that.” Ian glared at Kyle, who held his hands up in mock surrender. 

I was about to turn my rage back on Jared and yell at him for something- what I couldn't quite remember but I froze staring at Kyle. Kyle who had been so miserable the past few days waiting for his love to wake up who would never wake again. He was smiling. He was genuinely happy to be here with Ian. 

When we had gone with Ian to approach Kyle in the hospital he looked so much smaller than the tall man I had be accustomed to seeing and sometimes- when Wanda was with me- cowering from. But now sitting there with his fiances still hand in his own he was unrecognizable. 

“Melanie,” Kyle looked at me questioningly, “Can I ask you something?”

“I might not answer. You did almost kill me once. I'm not sure how I factor into your life for a life pact with Wanda.” Kyle had the decency to look sheepish which Ian and Jared laughed loudly. I beamed with pride at making my boys- our boys- happy and Kyle finally continued.

“Do you think...? If you hadn't woken up... if you hadn't been able to stay with Wanda for so long? Maybe if you faded away or something... would you have wanted Wanda to keep your body if you weren't able to use it anymore, if you weren't able to stay alive?” Kyle broke off so many times it was hard to keep track of what he was trying to say but when I heard his last question I knew my answer immediately. 

“yes.” 

“Yes? It's that simple?”

“Yes. I tried to fade away as soon as I knew she was going to leave Kyle. The second I figured out her plan and I knew I couldn't talk her out of it I tried to block myself out. I tried to give up.” I could tell by the look on their faces this was not the answer they had expected. Jared looked almost angry- which I understood. Ian looked thoughtfully surprised, and Kyle looked confused, “It's not that I didn't want to stay. I just didn't think I could stand being in a world where she didn't exist anymore.”

“It's unbearable.” Ian agreed softly.

“The uh... the stories at dinner were not all that terrible,” Kyle admitted placing a hand on Ian's shoulder.

“I love you.” I mouthed to Jared. It was almost an apology. We both owed each other so many of those. Our life together had become so twisted since Wanda entered it but I knew we both wouldn't change it.

“Alright enough. I thought we were drinking here- not having a damn feelings circle.” Jared declared cutting off the group therapy session, “Never have I ever hid under the bed of an alien couple so I wouldn't get caught stealing their stuff.” he added tauntingly in Kyle's direction.

Kyle grinned taking a sip of his drink, “Never have I ever made out with my girlfriend who's body was taken over by a little tiny worm in the back of her head. No offense.” he added in the direction of Wanda's tank. 

“Drink up baby!” I cheered, “You too Ian.”

“Wanda was not my girlfriend.” he corrected, “and it was your body that was taken over, you were never my girlfriend. If he had said never have I ever made out with an annoying brunette who hates me just because I happen to be in love with the worm in the back of her head then I'd take a drink.” 

I glanced at Jared and Kyle with a grin before I started chanting, “Drink, drink, drink!” by the third 'drink' the two men chanted with me and we didn't stop until Ian admitted defeat and gulped down his liquor.

The drinking continued on from there but I didn't remember much of it after the first round of I never. I did however wake up the next morning gripping my head in pain before I had even opened my eyes. I could feel cool metal in my left hand and I opened my eyes then to find my fingers stretched out around Wanda's tank that was curled into Ian's arms. Jared was to my right hugging my form in much the same way that Ian was hugging Wanda. It surprised me to see, usually when I saw the man sleeping he would be completely sprawled out on the bed in all different directions. Losing Wanda had made him a light sleeper as well. As soon as I shifted his eyes shot open.

“Hey.” I whispered softly, leaving my hand in its place on the tank.

“Hi.” he replied just as soft.

“Last night was fun.” he nodded in agreement. “She would have hated it though.” I admitted, “Drinking games are embarrassing as hell the next morning.” He laughed and out of the corner of my eye I saw Kyle shift from his spot at our feet.

“Morning.” he greeted. Ian and I both sat up to face him. “Thanks again, bro... I... I really needed this. You. Thanks.”

“Why is there never a video recorder around when you do things like this?” Ian asked shaking his head towards the sky.

Kyle continued on ignoring his brother, “Queen Mel of the booze.” I looked at him confused, “ Your words dude not mine.” he laughed, “You wouldn't respond to anything else.”

“See embarrassing.” I told Ian who chuckled again.

“Seriously though, Mel, thanks.” Kyle said sincerely moving to stand from the bed, “You gave me a lot to think about.” and without another word Kyle left the room, leaving both Ian and I confused but he shrugged it off as Jared began to wake.

Ian moved to stand and I finally had to remove my hand from Wanda's tank, “Jeb'll freak if we miss work.”

Jared groaned next to me, “Yeah we probably can't tell him we're all too hungover to plow the fields today huh?” I asked, to which Jared replied with another louder groan.

Ian shook his head, “I think you need to teach your boyfriend how to hold his liqour, Stryder.” 

“Don't I know it.” I said sarcastically, “Hey Ian?” he paused in the doorway, “She would have hated the embarrassing parts but... she would have loved seeing you laughing again.”

Ian looked down at Wanda in his arms and smiled placing a soft kiss to the lid, he looked back at me and mouthed, 'Thank you.' I nodded and he left the room quietly.

Maybe I'm not doing such a bad job afterall, Wanda. Maybe we will all get through this until you're back here where you belong.

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Sorry that chapter took me soooo long to write. I'm a little blocked. I know where I want this story to go and I've already written some later chapters so I don't forget certain scenes and how I want them to play out I'm just having problems connecting all the dots. Plus my kids are on spring break so my house is a crazy disaster zone this week.

Anyway leave a comment if you liked it.

Thanks!


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